With complete amazement, I recently shared on Facebook, “I am thrilled to announce that I just signed with Cyle Young at Hartline Literary Agency to write my first book. My heart is beyond overwhelmed by God’s great grace.”
I can hardly believe it myself! How can this be?
“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.”
That time came for me nearly six and a half years ago. Book marked in my mind, it is the page I will always come back too. I must come back to it.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” as Dickens said in his classic A Tale of Two Cities.
But how can those two possibly coexist? Somehow, in that moment forever dog-earred in my life, I knew they did.
The worst of times left me alone in my bedroom and on my face in total desperation. The walls I’d spent thirty-two years erecting around my heart had shattered. My deceitfully wicked heart fully exposed.
Trauma and extreme hardship had revealed a level of pain I never knew existed.
And I was done. Utterly done.
The best of times came simultaneously as I cried out to Jesus Christ. Though I’d professed to have done this as a little girl, this was the moment I’d waited my whole life for. The moment I was created to have.
Love Himself met me on the floor that day.
In my pit. In my ugliness. He surrounded me with beautifully accepting love when I should’ve been put out.
Certain of his life-changing grace, I doubted He’d ever be able to use me again. How could He? We both know what I really am.
You’ve ruined everything, Callie.
“God often uses our deepest pain, as the launching pad of our greatest calling.”
I didn’t see it then. I couldn’t.
I think I’m starting to now and if I’m being honest, it scares me.
Yet I know, unequivocally, it is Christ and Christ alone who now lives in me. There’s no more room for Callie, she’s way too controlling.
God graciously allows us to begin again.
Through this blog and if the Lord wills it, through the pages of a book, I yearn for you to know this: no matter how cracked your vessel, no matter how shattered your expectations and no matter how far you’ve gone, you can begin again.
Posted on: July 13, email@example.com