If you peeked through my quiet time journals to God over the past six years you’ll find this prayer:

“Give me perpetual brokenheartedness.”

Why, you may ask, would I pray for a broken heart when I should be praying for God to heal my heart?

In short, Psalm 51:17

I discovered this beautiful verse at a time when my heart was broken. I wanted the excruciating pain to go away and for my heart to be mended. Once and for all.

A more in depth look at the meaning of despise, years later brought a whole new perspective for me.

“…a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

Despise, in Hebrew, means:


Which means:


Which means:


Which means:

to refuse to accept

I could have said this much simpler, but I wanted you to see it as I did. In other words, this broken and contrite heart, is the very thing – the sacrifice – we are to bring to Him. And when we do, He promises He will not despise it. He will not turn it away.

What a beautiful promise and one I so desperately need. The truth is, God should have turned me away.

Praying a prayer like this however, comes at a price. We all know those who go through life with their heads in the sand. Why? Because, “ignorance is bliss,” right? Well, not so fast. God’s word has a lot to say about ignorance and it isn’t pretty.

My heart was suffocating from a lifetime of building walls around it, but I kind of liked the numbness.

Our hearts should feel and be tender but if I am being honest, I don’t always want mine to. In ways, it was easier when my heart was hard. I didn’t feel so much or so deeply.

Ezekiel 11:19 says,

“And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh.”

God did that for me on February 14, 2011 but everyday since I’ve been on guard to keep the stones out.

I write today from this place of raw emotion. Like a wound that burns when air hits it and like a wound, sometimes it needs to be exposed in order to heal.

If you have wounds that burn today may God bring healing in the midst of the pain. Please don’t try to cover it up. Instead, tell it to Jesus…

How do you keep a tender heart before God and others?

With my whole heart,



2 Replies to “HEART MATTERS”

  1. Beautifully said. I feel I am in a season of being still. He has broken me to the core and stripped everything to give me humility i so desperately needed. I didnt know I needed it until I finally cried out to him and listened. Its hard when you mess up or think you are being punished for something you are unsure of. I have come to listen and the inly thing i can understand at this point is I ignored him for so long he stripped me bare so that He is all i would see. All this to put me back on track as he has so many times. Although my heart break is self inflicted it was necessary. Still praying on mustard seed faith and still learning tdiscernment what i think is God is often me and what i want. Love this and appreciate you sharing

    1. Kellee, thank you for your heartfelt reply. Your words remind me of David’s in Psalm 119:71, “It is good for me that I’ve been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” I have been stripped and exposed as well. And, though so very painful, like David and like you, I can say, “It is good…” Thank you for your transparency. I am so glad He accepts our mustard seed faith!