MY STINKIN’ FEEBLE FLESH

MY STINKIN’ FEEBLE FLESH

“Callie, did you grow up on a farm?”

It seemed like a strange question coming from my eye doctor. We’d just met and he knew nothing of the years I spent as a little girl playing in field after field.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”

The most thorough eye exam I’d ever received followed. More than two and a half hours later he showed me an image of my optic nerve and went on to tell me I have an eye condition called Presumed Ocular Histoplasmosis. Found in bird and bat droppings particularly along the Ohio River Valley, this airborne fungus enters through a person’s lungs. It generally goes away on its own, but if not, it can spread to the eyes.

“Is it in my good eye, doctor?”

“It is, I’m afraid.”

I’m no stranger to vision challenges since I’ve been legally blind in my left eye since birth. Growing up somewhat of a tomboy, and at my Daddy’s urging, I always played some type of sport and we took care to baby my one good eye. Good is a relative term for even in that eye I have a tilted optic nerve, an oval shaped eye instead of a round one, and I’ve always required corrective lenses. Despite those things, with glasses, I have full vision in it and that makes it a very good eye indeed. My doctor went on to tell me that most cases are asymptomatic but if activated, it can lead to a worsening condition that can result in blindness.

Oh God, what would I do if I couldn’t read my Bible and write? What if I couldn’t look into my families eyes?

Ironically, my body has gone through a lot of challenges since this diagnosis a few months ago and as a result, so has my mind. Tests and visits to specialists have been largely unfruitful. One of the quickest ways to weaken my spirit is to weaken my body and the enemy knows this about me. You would think after so many years I would wise up to his devises.

In the midst of the greatest agony ever to be faced by a human, Jesus Christ’s flesh was weak. But not His spirit. My insignificant fear of losing my vision pales in comparison. My prolonged and uncertain ailment pales in comparison. How does my spirit fare when my flesh is weak?

Jesus told his followers how they could over come their feeble flesh and avoid temptation. By:

Watching

Praying

The temptation to fear and grow weary lurks behind every door in our lives, but we do not have to answer it’s knock. I have though. At times, I’ve opened the door wide and let it make itself quite comfortable. All the while, my spirit became more like my flesh.

Are you facing uncertainty today? Is your flesh or your spirit weak? Beloved, join me in watching and praying so we will not be caught off guard when our enemy attacks. Let’s stand strong in the power of the Lord’s might, continue in prayer, and be ever watchful. Then dear one, we will see with our spiritual eyes what even the best earthly vision can never show us.

Reference: Ephesians 6:10-20

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One Reply to “MY STINKIN’ FEEBLE FLESH”

  1. Callie, I’m sorry to hear you have this condition. We have a friend here in the Toledo area who was diagnosed with the same thing at least 10 years ago. He undergoes treatments from time to time, which are not pleasant, but at this point he can still see. Life is so tragic and it seems over and over we are being challenged to keep hold of the hem of our Lord’s garment, for if we don’t, what else will we cling to? Praying for your ability to accept what can’t be changed and that the Lord will give you peace for whatever the future holds. Hang in there, girlfriend! – Amy
    http://stylingrannymama.com/

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