Did you hear that echo?
It was coming from my yes as I answer this question. At least, that's what I thought I had been doing until recently.
I have a story to tell and there is no uncertainty about the call to share it. The uncertainty is always centered around my ability, my fears, my colossal failures, and on and on.
No matter how loud the voices get, the call is louder still.
Writing is my safe place. I can be as vulnerable as I allow myself to be from the privacy of my home but speaking is nothing short of a hike up Mt. Everest.
Recently I attended a home school conference where I was looking forward to soaking up lots of needed information. The first session came and my heart felt so distracted. Somewhere along the way, Charlie Brown's schoolteacher replaced the session speaker and I was lost in my own thoughts.
You should be at home writing your own speech.
The thought continued throughout the session and when my son needed to go to the bathroom, I jumped at the chance for some fresh air.
What are you doing, Callie. You need this information. Focus!
But the only thought that kept coming was about my speech.
The following morning I brought this pervading thought along with so many burning desires of my heart before the Lord. Like usual, I began to journal and before I knew it, I was grabbing another notebook and writing as fast as I could.
And there it was.
In less than 24 hours, more than 3,300 words that made up an eleven page speech. It was almost effortless as my pen flowed freely moved by the hand of grace.
My husband was so gracious that day to take care of the boys. I must have had that, Mamma's gettin' a download from Heaven and I can't stop now, kind of look because he took care of every single thing that day.
"Honey, in one day the Lord gave me what could have taken me years to write," I told my husband after I finished.
My husband turned and said,"It has. What you have to realize is that this has been years in the making."
PROCRASTINATION OR PREPARATION
He was right. What I thought had been yet another case of epic procrastination, was really a time of preparation. And, like pregnancy, there is a time for the seed to grow; to develop and when ready, they will be delivered.
I don't know when God will call me to use the speech he gave me, but I am prepared, thanks to my loving Father who gave me the nudge I needed because he believes in me.
He believes in you too. Are you pregnant with a dream? A calling?
Don't give up.
Perhaps what you think you're putting off is simply just a necessary time of development.
And, when the time is right, it will come forth.
Whether it is time for you to wait or time to move, may the hand of grace lead you.
With my whole heart,