why am i doing this?

Before I find the courage to type, I wrestle with the same question that comes before every blog post I write.


Who cares what you have to say?


I fight off the fears and type. One word at a time remembering something it took me forty years to realize.


It's not about me.


That truth nudges me to go a little further and share a little more. That truth helps me get over myself. Darts of doubt fight to penetrate.


You're just one of a million voices, Callie.


As I grasp God's word, my lifeline, I find who the love of my life says I am and I hear another whisper.


Callie, you're one in a million.


My soul quiets and my mind clears to do what I'm called to do. Reader, sister, brother, mother, father, friend - you are at the core. You've always been at that core.


This week I posted a single question on social media:


Working on a story and could use your input ladies. What are the biggest obstacles/struggles you face spiritually?


114 comments.


I had no idea how many of you would respond with such honest about your struggles. What started as an opportunity to gather information became much bigger. I saw your beautiful hearts and I remembered my why.


During the dialog, a precious soul reminded me of the deep effect words have. She commented:


You constantly amaze me. I’m sure you don’t know that. You know women very well and not just because you walk in those shoes. I believe God has given you insight into many things to help the rest of us. Women have many hidden compartments. We are simple, yet complicated. And you are gifted to delve into this subject. That’s not lip service. I mean every word. -Myra


Another message came:


I just wanted to take a moment and reach out to just say thank you. Thank you for all that you put out into the world. Thank you for beautiful you. You are doing what God has put you here to do utilizing the gifts He gave you. It astounds me and makes me me happy. You make the world so much brighter. Thanks again for putting all of Gods goodness out there through your faith, grace, honesty and love. -Elizabeth


Professionals in my career remind me that right about now I should be promoting my book - getting out there and staying connected. I know that's true and there will come a time for that (I pray when it does that in my excitement I don't exhaust everyone with it) but right now, I want to remember why I write in the first place. Thanks to these two precious ladies, I am reminded of the why. As I open God's word each morning, I am reminded of the why.


When I do begin book promotion I hope to remember another important truth. There is one name and one book I desire to promote.


Jesus Christ and the Holy Bible. The name above all names and the best seller of all time.


Without these two, I would have nothing and would be nothing. Without them, I could never have the courage to write or the words to say.


Whatever you find yourself doing today, will you join me in asking an important question.


Why am I doing this?


Whatever the answer, lay it before your first love and trust him to make sense of it.


With my whole heart,

Callie

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© 2020 by Callie Daruk

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darukc@gmail.com